“The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will”. (2 Timothy 2:24-26)

Every parent understands that raising children is hard work. I have six kids, and the demands on me and my wife are constant. As I reflect on the joys and challenges of parenting, I marvel at how it often parallels pastoral ministry. Both require a holy dependence on God’s grace. Both require imperfect people to do a perfect job. Both have weighty consequences for failure. Both are a team effort. Both are a gift from God given to sanctify us and cause us to depend on God’s ways above our own.  

Paul’s exhortation to Timothy in this passage is directed to pastors and other church leaders, but I believe the principle of patient instruction carries over to the home as well. Ministry life tests me in this regularly. Am I kind to all, even the unlovely? Do I strive to teach the things of God clearly and accurately? When wronged, do I respond with life-enriching grace? When my pastoral duty and calling are questioned, do I trust in God’s calling and humbly do His work even when those I am ministering to do not want or value it? Do I seek to gently correct even though I have the ability to harm someone with my words? Do I strive to see people repent? Do I work to help people make clear and sensible decisions by helping them understand the importance of walking in godliness? As a pastor, I live under this constant press and praise God for the sanctifying grace it supplies.

But I have noticed that many parents do not live under this same principle of patient instruction, even though they are in a similar position of responsibility in their homes. As our kids get older, their passions often drive them to test boundaries by questioning our reasoning, our fairness, our value system, and our commitments. When we see this happening, we must remember that we are called to lead our children (Prov 22:6; Col 3:21), and that these are opportunities for us to depend on God and patiently instruct our children in the truth.

A church should be able to look to its leaders and see the example of patient instruction they are to follow at home. Indeed, God expects a pastor to be able to rule his own household well before he rules the church (1 Tim 3:4). I  have had the privilege of being a part of two great ministries where godly men led by example. Now by God’s grace, I seek to establish the same work at Saving Grace Bible Church. To strive for this lofty standard, we must understand that the principle of patient instruction is as true in the home as it is in the church. We must seek to influence others out of our godly character, and not merely out of the authority granted us because of our positions. If we lead without character, our words are going to be empty and powerless and we will attempt to influence through fear, anger, and manipulation. On the other hand, if we lead by godly example, we will speak the truth and trust in God to do His work.

Godly instruction seeks to patiently and clearly communicate the truth to influence others to serve their God. This is commanded for the Church, and I pray more families adopt this principle for their homes.

 

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